A sad AnNiversary
It is 2 years ago today since I got the devastating news that our beautiful 4 yr old imported stallion ‘Silver N Dun’ was found dead in the paddock at the trainers. He died from a burst blood vessel that can just simply pop.
The ache of his loss still sits with me every day and grips my heart with a vengeance at times.
Many times I have woken up thinking it was all just a nightmare however reality quickly sits in.
In the shadow of his immense loss I had glimmers of hope through the 4 unborn foals he had due the following year. 3 of ours and 1 to an outside mare. I watched the mares carrying these precious foals tummies grow over the coming months. I stroked their bellies whilst whispering to the unborn foals how I longed to meet them.
The next blow to my heartache was receiving the call that the lovely outside mare had aborted her little filly.
In the spring I was blessed with 3 very dear little colts, a grulla colt (homozygous for dun), a brown colt and a stunning bay roan dun colt. Their arrival sure made my heart lift and the burden on his loss lighten.
Sadly my losses weren’t finished yet with the unexpected death of the grulla colt at 3 weeks of age then the bay roan colt at 7 months. All of them were completely unrelated deaths and all which I was utterly powerless to prevent.
The last 2 years have been a journey of such loss & sadness and I still struggle with the comprehension we lost not only him, but also 3 of his foals.
In the early days after the loss of them there was lots of turmoil for me around thinking, 'do I give up or keep going?'. As the days went on it became clearer and clearer that a world without my beautiful horses was a world that would be far darker than the one I was in with my grief.
My horses have always been bright lights in my life that have guided my through many dark times.
What has also shone so brightly for me has been the wonderful support from those around me as well as the online community who have followed us through the highs and lows. All of your thoughts and care has also been so heart felt. I feel so blessed to have all of your energy around me. It also feels like this energy spills out into the hills and the hearts of my herd and for that I thank all of you.
Our horses and my herd would not be where we are today without you
Leave a Reply.